POST CATEGORY : Vignette

Mysteries of the 43

While bussing back from the U District a few nights ago, I discovered this bit of weirdness.

penny on a bus seatSo.

So!

Someone gets on the bus, has a penny, heats it up with a… torch, and then presses it into the plastic of the bus seat to leave this shockingly clear impression.

While on various buses, I’ve had my lungs corrupted by some truly evil decay coming from someone’s feet. I’ve seen a woman kicked off a Bellevue-bound bus for yelling clearly but insanely about how god should DAMN the United States.* I had a 50-some-year-old Texan offer to impregnate me – in a way so jovial it almost wasn’t incredibly horrible. I had a Vietnam vet on his way to the reservation to buy cigarettes inform me that “the queers” were going to try to recruit me.** I’ve made friends and been asked out and knit and read and done all manner of things.

But someone with a portable and apparently covert heat source that could accomplish something like that… this is new.

Alright, King County Metro. There is a new bar to reach for bus weirdness. Good luck.

*She was off at the next stop. Do not dick around with suburban buses – they will not put up with your shenanigans.

**He was right. A disproportionate number of my friends do indeed identify as being part of the gays. Whoops!

Update: did you ever superglue coins to things? You know, to be a jerk? I did, but only on wood floors.

A friend did too, but on a greater variety of surfaces than I did, it seems. And she postulates that this is the remnants of someone doing exactly that wonderful, hilarious dick move on the bus.

How much more sense does that make than my hypothesis? Oh, all the sense. All of it.

WTF UW

Why?

uw tank

Why is there a tank thing in front of Terry Hall?

Why is there a tank thing equipped with a fire extinguisher and surrounded by caution tape and telescoping cones?

Why is everyone walking around like it ain’t no thing to have a baby tank device hanging out in front of your dorms?

I would not have felt that way when I was properly in college. I think I can safely say none of my classmates would have either.

Apologies for the buscam photo. It’s just that I wasn’t at my stop yet… and some kind of DNA-deep self preservation says, “Do not get off the bus to investigate the large, weapony-looking thing. You stay on your bus. You just keep on going.”

Update: a friend who apparently knows these things has informed me that this is a core sampler, used to see what layers of minerals and rock exist at different depths of a piece of land. Relevant, because a scant couple lots down from this, a fair amount of construction is going on.

So a Person Walks into Nordstrom Rack…

…thinking, “I need some mid-length, fairly simple brown boots. You know, for the cold weather. I bet I can find something like that here.”

Then this person sees this:

shoes1 And then this:

shoes2

Seriously, Toms, the child in need has suffered enough.

And then this…

Blur due to quivering emotional reaction.

Blur due to quivering emotional reaction.

…and realizes that what they really need is alcohol and the safety of four solid walls.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

And an internal exclamation of MERDE is what happens when you’re walking down Broadway, minus your camera, and you pass a guy who is an honest-to-god one-man band, with one of those multi-instrument backpack contraptions and everything, busking in the Chase entryway.

I gave him a dollar because I want him to come back. But in the meantime: keep an eye out! That guy is out there, and he’s amazing! And please give him a dollar so that I’ll see him on a better-prepared kind of day!

It was not this guy, but now that I know that guy exists, that’s a thing that’s going to have to happen. Never let it be said that Deviation Obligatoire does not support, appreciate, and love living cartoons.

I’m Back, Kittens

Did you miss me? (No, of course you didn’t, because of the miracle of scheduling posts.)

I have approximately 500-odd pictures to sort through. That’s going to happen soon. Once I get through the gauntlet of work, class, and various obligations. So: November.

In the meantime, I have this for you.

hanauma bayI snorkeled in that. I snorkeled, and it was wonderful, and I chased rainbow fish and was reminded of another layer of being a joyful human being that one can forget about living in the Pacific Northwest. And as being a joyful human being is pretty much my goal above all else*, that is a pretty great thing.

So I shall see you soon with tales of muddy trails, military installation-topped mountains, ripoffs that are worth it, adventures in pescetarianism, and one pale and nerdy person wading through the deep metaphorical waters of a very strange place.

Also, some of those tags? Just reused because I could. I confess.

*The “all else,” however, is an exceptionally long and exciting list these days.

Life Just Destroys Me Sometimes

Yesterday, I was transferring between the light rail and the 49 downtown, lugging awesome Uwijamaya groceries with my neighbor. As we walked down Fourth, we encountered a battle royale.

A boy of about five, wearing one of those half-face Batman masks and brandishing a toy katana, was engaged in a swordfight… with an old man in an impeccable suit and hat, who brandished his cane for self-defense. As he was much more enthusiastic than the kid, who couldn’t quite seem to wrap his brain around this much awesomeness, I am thinking the old man picked the fight. And then lost it on purpose.

I stood and stared and felt my heart grow three sizes.*

I’ve looked forward to being older/old for a long time now. And it makes me happy to see exactly the kind of old person I want to be, out there, being rad and making life so much better for everyone.

swordy

My favorite, most relevant GIS result for “batman swordfight.”

*I am actually mostly heart at this point. It’s getting kind of crowded in here.

Bellevue and Pine, 17 September 2013

IMG_0703aIMG_0704aAnd, later, at Cal Anderson, another of the ENORMOUS BEAUTIFUL INFINITE SKY moments I’ve been experiencing lately. I was born in the spring, and I was made to adore the in-between seasons. I’m going to say “liminal” here just so I have an excuse to use that tag again.

IMG_0708aIMG_0709aPeople who get it.